Saturday 8 May 2010

MSN Entertainment joins the Idiot Pile

It's often asserted that Thulsa Doom is just "Thoth-Amon with a different name." Which is balderdash for so many reasons, but given how Thoth was transformed in the Marvel Comics (and then Dark Horse) I can understand why people might think that, given how Thoth was turned from an intriguing villain whose life sometimes intersected with Conan's in interesting ways, into Lifelong Nemesis Who Only Conan Could Defeat.

What's MSN's excuse?

Okay, technically the "Conan" movies are based on a series of novels created by Robert E. Howard. But Oliver Stone's screenplay and John Milius' direction is clearly influenced by Marvel's "Conan" comics of the 1970s - specifically, the ones illustrated by John Buscema. So we're willing to include Jones' imperious interpretation of the barbarian lord who raided Conan's entire village, slaughtered his family and enslaved the young Cimmerian - ultimately shaping him into the Arnold Schwarzenegger-looking gladiator he would become - on this list. Frankly, we're afraid of what he might do to us if we left him out.

1. No, technically the Conan movies are based on a character who starred in a series of short stories by Robert E. Howard. Though frankly, even that's a bit of a stretch, seeing as it isn't the same character, rather a dude with a similar name and similar setting.

2. "Jones' imperious interpretation of the barbarian lord who raided Conan's entire village, slaughtered his family and enslaved the young Cimmerian - ultimately shaping him into the Arnold Schwarzenegger-looking gladiator he would become" never existed in the comics to begin with. This was a complete invention of the filmmakers, and it would only be adopted after the films came out. Even in the comics, Thulsa Doom was a Kull villain, and the few times he did appear in Conan, he was the skull-faced sorcerer supreme of Howard's vision.

3. Hah, what would Doom possibly do if you left him out? Shoot you with a snake arrow straight out of Loony Tunes? I'd be more worried about the actual comic villains you did leave out than Doom. Case in point: in what universe is the moronic, sarcastic "Doctor Doom" from Fantastic Four a better villain than the mighty General Zod? I'd even take Von Sydow's old shame Ming the Merciless over that slimy mess.

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